The legendarily awful former Simtek and Footwork driver Taki Inoue has thrown his hat in the ring to be considered for the vacant Mercedes seat.
Mercedes recently put out an advert in Autosport for a replacement for Nico Rosberg, and it seems it’s already having the desired effect.
— Taki Inoue (@takiinoue) December 8, 2016
53-year-old Inoue publicly posted his application on Twitter, and on reflection it looks like he could be the ideal choice.
There would be a lot of positives to hiring Inoue. He won’t be as quick as Hamilton so it wouldn’t create the tension within the team that was present with having two top drivers. Having such a slow driver in such a quick car would put him right in the pack, which would make for plenty of hilarious wheel-to-wheel battles and comedy spins – good for getting TV air-time and therefore great for sponsors.
The biggest plus point of all however is his track record for hitting safety cars. Mercedes supply F1 with safety cars, so with Inoue there to collide with (and damage) them, the FIA will have to pay Mercedes for all the repairs. Cha-ching! Profit.
Aside from Inoue being a little old and a little out of practice, we can’t think of too many negatives to Mercedes snapping up Taki. Alonso clearly has competition if he wants that seat next year.